Today is my 30th birthday and I awoke at 9:00 A.M. to my ass really hurting. Does anyone else know what I am talking about? It’s a weird asshole pain that can only be described as if I had just gotten fucked in the ass for the first time ever (not that I have any relevant data to know what that would actually feel like). I go into the bathroom even though I am still very tired. I try to take a shit thinking it might help……….nothing, no dump and no relief either.
I go back into bed laying there hoping to fall back asleep. I close my eyes, but my ass hurts too much to keep them closed. I stare at the ceiling wondering what the fuck causes one’s ass to hurt when that person has done nothing but slept for the past 8 hours.
I go back into the bathroom, because for some strange reason I assume that taking a shit might relieve this awful anal feeling (even though I have NO feeling that makes me think that it is time to take a shit).
I hold my breath and push………nothing.
I hold my breath, push, and grunt the words “COME ON!”
A little nugget shit has been released.
My asshole does not feel the relief that I was hoping for.
I lay back down in bed, I then realize that I can no longer fall asleep since I am uncomfortable in the ass region, and I am kind of awake now after all the pushing I did in order to take a shit smaller than the size of a Chicken Mcnugget. I decide that I mind as well write about my early morning experiences on my 30th birthday. As of right now, my ass feels great. Time is a magical thing in that it seems to heal many ailments on its own, much like restarting Windows and then everything just works like it used to.
So for anyone wondering how it feels for me to be 30, I must say that so far it just feels like I got fucked in the ass for the first time. Who knows where the rest of my day will take me though?
This is What Andrew Michaels is doing now………………